Funny how small things can make you feel like you're on top of the world, or like you've sold your world. I don't know how that aphorism is truly translated into English, but maybe you know what I meant. Like you have nothing to live for. Yesterday was one of those good and bad days.
One of these good and bad things was a random, sudden and confusing yet very pleasant meeting with a very very lovely girl my aged - she just happened to stop by at my work and after a minute kind of asked me to be her friend. Sounds weird, but the situation was SO laid back and fun and comfortable - like we had known each other for years! She was like a ray of light that just happened to enter into my work day and life. At least in my Facebook-friends for now ! ^^ I hope that we manage to see each other before she leaves this town to start working at her parent's home town, and save money by staying at their house .. in order to leave again, this time to USA. Say whaaat, the freaking United States of freaking America!? ♥
I'm so jealous and happy for her at the same time. That's why this was a bad thing, it made me realize how lazy I've been with my life: do I have a dream to be something when I grow up, and have I done anything to achieve it?
This girl has a dream, and she's done practically everything she is able to do in order to achieve what she wants from her life. She wants to perform, not produce events (used to study same thing as I do now, cultural management) but she wants to be the star - on the footlights of the show. Her passions are acting, dancing, music and travelling, meeting new people all around the world. Kind of all the things that I have a strong passion for, but never really have had the courage or bohemian attitude to go for them, head over heels. Only a little bit. I've acted a little, love it. I've danced a little, love it. I love to sing but I'm not good at it (trust me. I just can't sing properly even though I hum a lot !) and I can't play any instruments - I just LOVE to listen to music, most of all LIVE music. Thank goodness, all my fantasies about playing guitar embody in my boyfriend and I have lot of talented friends around me, so my life isn't completely art-free. I guess I could call this blogging thing some kind of artistic thing as well, since it is quite a creative hobby.. along with my random DIY-projects and interior decor, haha.
I've also been around the World, or well actually just Europe. Those have been little family vacations or school trips, so I'm not sure if I have ever truly been in touch with the real culture and people of these locations. This girl I met yesterday, she has been living in Paris and pursuing her career for a long time, and now climbing even higher. Los Angeles..
I hope I find my dream someday, and start to breath for it.
Until then, I'm just looking for my path. Trying to catch it by the tail.